February 2012
15 posts
~*~Lots of feelings~*~
My writing, like all my creative energy, has been blocked lately. Today I realized it’s because I’m afraid if I let my creativity flow I’ll start being myself and then people will be able to see who I really am and then they’ll be able to hurt my real self instead of just attacking who they think I am. My fear, rational or not, is that that would destroy me.
Anyway, I can...
Nobody ever says "when I grow up I want to be a...
1 tag
sometimes I get sick of this whole "learn to love...
and I just want to curse and scream and pout and eat ice cream until I feel sick, because fucking hell I want somebody else to love me. Other people have a family or a best friend or something. I have, um, cats. Great.
Don’t tell me to love myself in the same breath you’re telling me you don’t want to talk to me, asshole. Fuck. Healing sucks. Old feelings suck. I stuffed them...
pouring out thoughts
I’m forcing myself to write because I’ve been “blocked” for months now. This is likely to suck. Whatevs.
I feel lately like I don’t want to be around other trans people, like I don’t need it. But maybe I do need it and I’m avoiding it and that’s why I feel so… stuck. I’m pleased with my results on T but I don’t really care that...
2 tags
chimicherry cherrychanga chimicherry cherrychanga...
IMPORTANT SELF CARE THINGS OBTAINED.
jasietaraevangesen:
definatalie:
Do you know what leads to deep guilt and negative self talk? When people demand you tell them why you need to do certain things. Like paint your nails.
I doubt you really want me to tell you why I paint my nails. You just want me to feel bad.
And guess what? I SHAN’T! In fact, I hope you manage to find adequate time and peace to create your own self care...
1 tag
Gotta gtfo
So I’ve been getting more and more depressed the longer I live in this house, and last night was the last straw. Housemate knocked on my door at 11pm, woke me up (I went to bed at 9) and demanded the last $100 of my rent (I already paid 2/3 of it, in cash, well before it was due). I said, calmly, that my check was a day late and I’d have the money next day. Housemate proceeded to...