pouring out thoughts
I’m forcing myself to write because I’ve been “blocked” for months now. This is likely to suck. Whatevs.
I feel lately like I don’t want to be around other trans people, like I don’t need it. But maybe I do need it and I’m avoiding it and that’s why I feel so… stuck. I’m pleased with my results on T but I don’t really care that much about documenting changes, mostly because they’re so gradual I hardly notice. Plus there’s gobs of stuff if you wanna see trans guys change, it’s pretty similar person to person. So I dunno.
I had a lot more to say about gender when I was in the awakening stages, when I had fresh anger about being raised wrong. Maybe I got all that anger out or maybe I’ve shoved it all down, who knows. That’s what therapy is for.
Maybe writing used to be my therapy and now that I’m in therapy I don’t need it. Sad, if true.
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